PEOPLE WHO TELL ME THEY REGRET NOTHING MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE.
Such a crutch - go ahead, tell yourself you love all your mistakes - whatever helps you sleep at night.
Now, let's not get me wrong here - I think that it's healthy to LOVE what you have become and therefore, not focus on the regrets and past mistakes, because DUH, you wouldn't be who you are NOW if you didn't make those mistakes THEN. I can dig that - cause I feel that way myself, in many many many ways. BUT, don't you dare tell me that if you were given a choice to go back, you wouldn't do ONE thing different. Please bro. I'm talking HYPO-thetically now. Like if the genie from Aladdin popped outta fucking nowhere and asked you if you had anything you would want to change, there would be a little voice inside of your head urging you - "yeah man...let's go back and not do that one thing...", "let's go back and make that different decision". You might not listen to it, you might dust it off but I won't believe for a second that there wouldn't be a quick minute where you would consider it. SORRY.
But yeah, that butterfly effect is some crazy shit - I can't say I'd wanna fuck with it but I do know that I have regrets (which I'm not afraid to face or admit) and I wonder if I would have done things differently if I would still be sitting on this windowsill, 5 steps away from the beach, watching the same Simpsons episode for the 400th time and waiting for BEER O'CLOCK. Answer: probably not. Other answer: possibly. 50/50. Who knows.
The little devil that lives on my shoulder and I have done a lot of things together. We've gone through the ups and the downs and the upside downs and we've made it through pretty well. But we wonder if we would have listened to the angel on the other side a little more often, where we could have ended up. Then we look at each other and go..."NAHHHH, that shit was too fun.", "NAAHHH, if I would have listened to everyone else, I wouldn't have Taco", "NAHHH, it took those fucked up situations to make me into the strong beast I am today". Etc, etc.
The point is to make peace with your regrets and glorify them the way ought to be, let them sink into your skin and become a cohesive part of your being. Be afraid that you have done some things wrong, made some wrong turns but be happy in the fact that you are still alive, breathing and hopefully full of more experience than if you would have taken the easy way. Don't push them away and pretend like they don't exist - that's how shit gets messy. Don't demonize them to the point where you think that you need to erase them. They are out there somewhere, in the universe swirling around - might as well keep them in your pocket and have them close to you - to remind you that you may not want to make them again. Regret is power and knowledge built into one entity of survival and beauty. Regret is what makes you turn into the person you always envisioned yourself to be - to say that you have no regret is to basically say you have made each decision as you wanted to, in the correct time and place in space. To not regret is to say that your life is perfect and hunny, no one's life is perfect. Each life is a constant change of artwork mixed with joyous moments and extreme pain. Life is about imperfections and still loving everything for what it is - as it is.
People could argue with me on this, all day - as almost everything else that comes out of my mouth/hands/soul. Regardless, I'm not afraid to face the demons that have escaped from me nor am I afraid to admit that I have done some majorly fucked up things but as long as the goodness that you do outshines the negative - regrets should remain somewhere inbetween - as a grey color of reminder that human nature is to be flawed and to take each battle wound as a trophy - not a scar.
I NEVER MAKE ANY SENSE, DO I? Or...perhaps I make too much of it.
We're all a little mad here.
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