Falling asleep to the sound of machine guns - fake ones, (Call of Duty/Medal of Honor/Halo/Counter Strike...just to name a few, over the years) makes me feel safe. Most would find it distracting but if you know me at all, which you probably don't, I have no trouble going to sleep - especially if my friend Mary Jane is involved. I slept through the Northridge earthquake, I've fallen asleep on the floor of punk rock shows, hell, I'd probably even sleep through a fire if the occasion arose. Once I am asleep, it is very hard to wake me. Sleep has always been possibly, the best friend I've ever had.
Last night was the first night in awhile that I got to fall asleep to the sound of semi-automatic rifles and it reminded me of all the other times that I have been rocked to sleep imagining bullets flying everywhere but no where close to me. Hitting fake people connected to real people on the other side - who are not getting injured. Re-spawning over and over again - if only that's how life really worked. I can only imagine that it makes me feel safe because I know that it's my boyfriend playing video games and that he is watching over me awhile I rest. The noise reminds me of boys that I've loved and how I never want to not hear the sound of machine guns blasting from time to time, caused by the constant pushing of buttons on a Playstation controller of a boy that I love.
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