I can't think of a title, so FUCK IT.

I HAVEN'T SMOKED WEED IN OVER 60 HOURS.

Not by choice.  Mostly out of pure laziness to go through the trouble to get weed while I'm here in Portland. However, I must say that I'm pretty proud of myself for getting through this dry and foreign time -- almost effortlessly.  That is a weird word to type, effortlessly.   I'll admit it, since the end of 2007, I have smoked weed at LEAST 1 time a day, every, single, day.  Not because I need to but because I choose to.  CHOOOOOOOOSE to. 

So GO ME! I'm patting myself on the back.

I'd like to thank my good friends Bud Light and Xanax for helping me out at night tho.  Probably couldn't have done it without them.  So, GO ME! But... take a little credit away?  Whatever.  DGAF.

I've decided a few things in the past couple of days. 

1. I'm going to write a book.  This won't happen quickly but I'm going to create the most awesome book you'll ever read.  It is going to be a semi-autobiographical (I'm lying because it will all be autobiographical but I'm going to pretend like it's not so I don't look like a huge piece of shit) collection of things that you should know in order to survive your late teens-early 20s without...well being a huge piece of shit.  I'd like to think I've come pretty far since my early 20s and I'd like to share that knowledge with the other cynical assholes of the world.  You'll see - it's going to be pretty radical.  DOUBLE MEANING. 

2. I need to man up and make the changes that I need in my life.  I need to focus, project, and create my future into exactly what I want it to be.  I have to envision what I want to the point where there's no possible way that I can't get it.  This is called creative visualization and hippie-ass shit or not, I'm going to do it. 

3.  I have the most awesome Mom and dog/daughter in the entire world.  I need to stop focusing on the fact that I can't always be with them and remember that I'm just lucky in the first place to have them, to know them, to have learned from them and that no matter what, they are the biggest part of my heart and I do everything I do -- to make them proud.  I need to remember that sometimes being away from the things that you love is what brings you closest to them and that all suffering and sacrifice eventually leads to the brightest light at the end of the tunnel. 

4. Blue Valentine - the movie, is sad and depressing and I don't ever want to see it again.  Michelle Williams played a fucked up/stupid/crazy bitch and Ryan Gosling played a man who not only took care of another man's child as his own but had the humor and ethic to love her with all his heart, even if it wasn't good enough for her.  If you liked Michelle William's character in this movie, I fucking hate you and I hope you realize that just because you're a fucked up/stupid/crazy bitch doesn't mean that you get to ruin other people's lives.  So many parts of the movie were precious but as a whole, fuck that movie and fuck whoever wrote it.  And FUCK anyone who is like that in real life because they deserve no happiness at all.

THAT'S IT. I'M OUT. SONS OF ANARCHY...HERE I COME.