Well shit, October went by really slow for me. Which is so untypical compared to how fast the rest of this year has completely blown by. It seems like it's always the 1st of the month. Time for rent, bills, etc etc blah blah - but not this time. I feel like my birthday was months ago, I feel like I've been 26 all my life. I feel like I haven't seen my dog in decades and that this last week with hurricane Sandy has made time stop. In some ways, it has made everything stop. Slow motion. Even before it was really Halloween, I felt like it had all already happened.
I can't stop looking at the pictures. Every hour or so I refresh my news website to see which ones have been added. Every time, I have to stop the tears from flowing down my face. I know that it has not been as devastating as Katrina was, I know that was much worse - many more lives were lost, very impoverished people were left with absolutely nothing. Yet, Sandy single-handedly shut down one of the most powerful and beautiful cities in the entire world, New York City. A city that has always and will always lay very deeply in my heart. There is nothing quite like the feeling you get when you arrive in that city. There is this feeling of absolute empowerment and perfection -- and the pictures of the damage make my soul cringe in pain.
Maybe if it weren't for 9/11, I wouldn't feel so strongly about this. Every part of me knows that everyone and everything in New York will bounce back, they always do - which is why the people of NY are so rough and tough and not to be fucked with. Which goes to say for most of the human race - we always bounce back. We always drag ourselves off the floor and rise up, almost better than ever. But in the meantime, my heart will continue to ache. Not just for them, not just for New York but for the entire Eastern Coast.
So many homes. So many lives and animals lost. So many memories torn apart by the most dynamic and powerful of elements on this planet - water and wind. Even fire made it's appearance, it couldn't be shown up by its friends of destruction yet beauty. Just another reminder of how small we all are, how unimportant in the big scheme of things. We are simply organisms on this wondrous ball of elements that navigates around the sun - and nature rules all. Just another reminder that at any time, we could all be gone. Stardust.
Just another reminder to appreciate everything, every moment, every person in your life. Never go to sleep mad, never hold grudges, never not say what you want to say, never hold back. Not that you would be able to regret things once you do not exist but who knows how the heart feels in those last minutes of life, except those that have passed through.
As much as I speak about hating humans, it is in these times of suffering that strength and love truly comes to the surface. It's unfortunate that it takes a tragedy to have people treat each other the way they always should. With empathy, understanding and the genuine desire to help and support. To stop thinking about themselves and run into a flooding house and save the family inside -- even if you don't get out alive.
My dear planet Earth, I cannot believe your power.
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