So, nowadays, all I see in the media is shit about kids killing themselves due to bullying. I don't know if the world has gotten worse or if kids have just gotten more... for lack of a better word.. pussy-ish?
I know that the media and the fucked up way that society has turned out has a huge effect on children these days. But I can't go one fucking day without hearing about some 15 year old plunging to their death because of people bullying them. I honestly don't know where to point my finger at first but I definitely have a good list of ideas where the problems lies.
Firstly, it's the parenting at home. Every child should be taught from a young age that they are absolutely wonderful they way they are. Yeah, they might have a few things they need to work on - a few flaws here and there. A few things they need to grow out of or work on. No one is perfect and no child should be brought up thinking they are. However, they should be instilled with the greatest amount of self esteem possible.
My Mom, no matter what I did, no matter how horrible I could be - she always cherished me for being an individual with my own mind set, my own ideals and my own goals. She never pushed me to be anything I wasn't and she accepted me for who I am. My Father, well, he doesn't fucking matter in this equation. But if he taught me anything in the 10 years he stuck around - it was to be myself and to express myself the way I feel most comfortable and to FUCK what other people thought of me. Wear what I want, be who I want, do what I want and fuck the rest. Even my Mother, who does somewhat care what people think always told me to just be happy with myself. As long as you can love who you are and understand that no one knows who you really are except yourself, you're going to be okay.
It makes me utterly sick to my stomach to know think that this type of parenting isn't going on these days. Some parents push these awful expectations on their children, "be this" "do this" "become this" - how dare you? You don't have children for them to become extensions of what you want them to be - you have children to let them grow and be who they end up being. If you can't handle that notion, you should not have children you selfish piece of rotten shit.
Anyway, self esteem should primarily come from home. If it doesn't come from home, you need to find it within yourself. I have to admit here that ever since I can remember, I never have even given one shit of what people think of me. When I was 10 years old, I was friends with the "popular" girls at my elementary school. One day, during lunch, they were talking about the dumbest bullshit ever and I got the fuck up, picked up my food tray and I moved to the table where one of my best friends sat - I had known her since I was 4 years old and she is still to this day, one of the most beautiful and amazing women that I know. Everyone in that popular group criticized me. It's like, they couldn't fucking wrap their heads around the fact that I didn't give a shit about their shallowness and retarded discussions. Even at 10 years old. I've known a lot about life from a young age and I can only credit my Mother, who, always told me the truth about life. Who never sheltered me from it's stormy weather. She let me watch what I wanted, listen to what I wanted, go where I wanted and you know what - I never rebelled, I never became a bad child - I always respected her respect for me and my independence as a human being and I never took advantage of that.
Looking back, it was about 7th grade that I found hip hop. These harsh words that had such power to me. Even back then, when I first heard "It's So Hard" by Big Pun, I was in hip hop dance class and the words "all you haters, just walk on by" stuck with me. I realized AGAIN then that I didn't give a shit what people thought of me. If you didn't like me, then fuck you. If you liked me or understood me on any level, then I liked you - no matter who you were, what group you hung out in, no matter who you were associated with. If I had a connection with someone, that's all that mattered to me. I don't connect to many - I mostly disassociate myself with humans as much as possible. But when I do, I love them with all my heart. It was hip hop that taught me to be thick-skinned, to be rough and tough but loving and passionate. That's the problem with a lot of kids these days, they listen to this pussy sad bullshit that makes you want to slit your wrists. Don't listen to sad shit. No one wants to be sad. Empower yourself, educate yourself and know your self worth. No one's words are worth your life.
There was this one girl that made fun of me in middle school. I'll call her out. She's the ONLY person that ever made fun of me outside of just poking fun. Her name is Rachelle. And she was brunette and fat as fuck. She used to make fun of me because I had blonde hair - in 7th grade. Every single day, she would taunt me with her words about how blondes were stupid and that I was stupid. Deep down, I knew she just hated herself. One day, when she was making fun of me, I bluntly said to her "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM BITCH?" And I never cussed at this point yet. I hadn't found myself or my inner voice yet. I looked her deep into her awful eyes and I asked her again "what the fuck is your problem bitch?" And she had no answer for me. After her moment of silence, I told her "Okay then, leave me the fuck alone.". She never talked to me again. All throughout high school, never said one word.
That was the last time I was ever bullied. I get along with everyone if I need to. But if you're going to fuck with me, I'm going to verbally attack the shit out of you. These kids these days need to realize that nothing that anyone says matters. People who have nothing nice to say are miserable pieces of shit. Raise your head, keep your chin up and be yourself. AND LISTEN TO HIP HOP. Listen to music that empowers your soul and makes you believe in yourself and your power in this world. Be positive and do not let those that feel so negatively about themselves ever bring you down.
I'll say it until the day that I die... find the things you love about yourself and put your middle fucking finger up to those who try and tear you down in ANY way. If you don't like me, get the fuck out of my life.
...Or punch them in the fucking face and turn the bullying around. Then stomp on their face and kick the shit out of their ribcage until they bleed to death. Then look them in the eye and tell them make fun of you one more time. ;)
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